Day 51: It's All Over...

Just kidding! At least I've got your attention.

The Guys on Bikes have made it to Leoti, Kansas. It's a small town on Route 96, which we've spent the better part of the week exploring. This road should take us all the way to Pueblo, CO if we don't take any turns.

We actually had a dude in a pickup truck stop and ask us directions to Scott City the other day. We politely told him "The other way". We honked our horn as he drove off and he rummaged under his front seat for a moment, weaved into the left lane and proudly produced a deafening blast on the airhorn he'd found. We love Kansas.

Go back in time with me, will you?...

I suppose I left out some of the fun we had on day 42. American Airlines crashed their central computers so we spent our day re-routing through Dallas and sleeping on the airport floor. Luckily Johnny, Daveyray and I had a lot of practice sleeping on concrete. Not so luckily we were at Sbarro's when they called our names for our standby flight to Washington. The folks on the plane were thrilled to see that they were waiting for three loud guys with pizza so that they could take off. Jonathan took a flight on another UNNAMED airline and had absolutely no problems. He actually arrived at the same time as us which made for an easy pickup.

Day 43 we rode from Pittsburg, KS to Chanute, KS. Actually, the correct version of the story is that we rode .5 miles from the bike shop in Pittsburg to the place where Johnny got a flat tire. We knew we were back on the road. Ed from Tulsa had driven us out that morning and enjoyed a giant breakfast with us, dropped us off at the bike shop (thanks again, ED!) and Joe showed us our tuned up, once again shiny bikes. Of course it was time for a flat tire.

It was also time for SORE BUTTS! I won't make it too graphic, but I described it to a friend as "Rub your [butt] with 50 grit sandpaper, sit on broken glass and then rinse off with a lemon juice bedet." You're right, that was graphic. In summary - three of us have new bike seats in the mail as we speak.

Chanute was a ... hoot (to clue you in on pronounciation). We stayed at the Santa Fe campground which was free for the first 48 hours. That just doesn't happen out East. There was a SERIOUS men's softball game going on, and we camped out right past the right field fences. Simply brilliant. They like their softball out here ... (obvious foreshadowing). For those of you who love the inane details of our lives, i.e. all the moms "in the house", we had Italian hoagies from Wal-Mart for dinner.

Day 44 we rocked Chanute to Eureka! It was another rough day. At this point we had been facing a headwing for a couple of days and were hating life. We thought we would be as strong as "junk", but he reality was that we had just softened up on our time off. A few of us (4) were discouraged. Read on. It gets way cooler.

So DR and JShiu go to the grocery store when we get to Eureka to get some dinner and come back empty handed with big grins on our faces. Johnny and I are done swimming at the super cool free pool and are surprised to hear them describe how the local florist has invited us to stay at her and her family's house that night. With AC! We pack up as quick as we can, which isn't very quickly, and the grins are on all four faces. Back at the florist shop we are met by Lisa, who pops the trunk, we load up, and we're off to vote in Eureka! She needed to vote before she went home, and dragged us along.

Lisa and Eric and Wesley and Wayne Moot are the coolest folks in Kansas. They took us in, fed us a GIGANTIC spaghetti dinner (there were LEFTOVERS), made our BEDS with SHEETS and PILLOWS, we had our own SHOWER, and there was even WATERMELON FOR DESSERT!

The Moots, as they are referred to in Eureka, were "what is up" in Eureka. Thank you tons! They have been taking in bikers for a while now and enjoy the interesting stories. I am still floored at their laid-back hospitality. It was humbling. They gave us waffles and bagels and sausage for breakfast and Eric gave us a ride back to the shop to pick up our bikes in the morning. Unreal. Just so you know, a package of Philadelphia Cream Cheese and a foil package of Crisco LARD look very similar at 6AM. Almost similar enough to spread on a bagel. Almost to the point where you would take a bite out of it... As an unrelated side note, Crisco is the worst tasting thing ever. Don't eat it.

We slugged out Day 45 to Cassoday, where the plan was to buy some stuff for sandwiches and eat on the long long ride to Newton. Yeah right. There was a home-cooking all-you-could-eat buffet there and we had mashed potatoes coming out of our ears when we were done. It was almost embarassing, but these Kansas women all act like your mom and coo and cluck when you eat a lot of food. I think heaven is just like this but with a tailwind instead of a headwind. We ate enough that we made it across the street to the city park and fell asleep in the grass. It was a debacle.

Ten miles out of Newton we stopped for a drink because it got REAL hot. This town was so small I can't remember the name. It had a couple of houses and a grain elevator. We knew this because we sat out in front of the local mechanic's shop drinking pepsi when a kid named Trent told us we could get some "pop" at the "elevator". We didn't understand what this meant, but Johnny and I trucked over to the building he pointed at and scared the "dad-gum bejeezus" out of about eight people hanging out inside. It might have been the bike shorts. Once we explained what we were doing and how cool we were, they gave us some pop. They were a lot of fun, trying to get one of the older gentlemen to come with us cross-country. I think they just wanted him to leave the elevator.

Newton had a nifty pool and a mesquito population of such size and stature we had to hide the food bag or they would fly off with it. You'll be relieved to find out that Newton had absolutely nothing else interesting about it at all. We moved on.

Day 46 we slept LATE and it was GREAT! They really should have a basic writing test before they hand out a blog like this... anyway, we slept late and Jonathan was ready to roll so he wrote down the directions to Hutchinson and we haven't seen him since.


Just kidding Jonathan's mom and family! We made it there fine, and so did the rest of us. We picked up a tailwind for some of the way and it was like buttering biscuits. That's a phrase you would think they would say in Kansas but they don't. Yet. Some phrases they do say:

Dad-gum
I do declare
Heavens to Betsy (just kidding. No one has said that yet)
Run you off
Git 'er done
Take you in
Woo (this one was recently introduced)
I reckon
A "jog" in the road (this happens when the road doesn't do what you think it should)
Up a piece

The Zion Lutheran Church in Hutchinson (they call it Hutch to keep it simple) was what Kansasans would definitely NOT call the bomb. Not that it wasn't great, but no one around here would say that. It was THE BOMB. Inflatable beds, sheets, pillows, towels, kitchen and towels. These are a few of my favorite things. Jonathan and I (Ryan, in case I've still got your attention) went to the Cosmosphere, a SURPRISINGLY large and complete space museum. They had the SR-71 Blackbird anda space shuttle mock up and many shows, displays, trivia, and an out-of-place but still-exciting-enough-that-we-have-to-go Nascar IMAX show. It was Da Vish (that means well scripted with a strong plot).

Day 470 ... I mean 47 was to Larned, Kansas. In a show of incredible self-control Daveyray only made 16 jokes about how the name of the town could be misconstrued as "learned". It made the ride so much shorter and pleasanter...er. In his favor, he did make stacks of fantastic blueberry pancakes. So I guess your jokes WERE pretty funny after all.

This was an interesting day. Daveyray busted a driveside spoke 13 miles into the ride just past a town called Nickerson. "What's a driveside spoke", you ask? It's the same as a regular spoke except you can't fix it without special tools that we left at home in VA because we were having so much fun at the wedding. Ahead of us lay a 70 mile stretch of NOTHING. The bike shop was back in "Hutch" where we started. We walked the bikes back to Nickerson to regroup. Kim at the convenience store heard our story, was actually convinced by our patheticness and decided to give Jonathan and DR a ride to Hutch when she went to pick up our paychecks. Solid Gold! Daveyray got the tools he needed, Jonathan got a new wheel because he felt like it (and his old one was breaking) and Johnny and I stayed behind and worked on his bike and made plans for the future. Bike plans.

We got back underway around noon and made the long haul to Larned by dark.

The rest of the ride to Larned I do not recall, nor was the meal at Don Do's stellar... but the kids we met at the city park were about the coolest thing we'd ever seen! We first met Zac and Kaleb and Shelby, who were pretty darn cool. Then Alex and Evan and Jason came riding in on Spanky, April and TJ or JC or CJ. Those are horses, and they darn near ran me over with them. That was AWESOME! Of course they let us ride their horses all over the park, three city boys taking videos and making fools of ourselves and having a fantastic time. The kids all decided it was a good idea to make the horses run as fast as possible. A grand time was had by all except Daveyray sat out on the festivities, mentioning saddle soreness.

We loved hanging out with the kids from Larned and even thought it was funny when they rode the horses into the pavilion we were sleeping in. It was blissful. Unfortunately we didn't take ANY pictures so you'll have to use your imagination... wait, we DID take pictures! We'll post them up just as soon as we can.

Day 48 was the day we woke up too early. I don't know how it happened, but somehow at 5:20am we were ready to roll out and it was raining and pitch black. Some miscommunication somewhere. We sped straight back to Don Do's for a bigfatbreakfast and waited in a half-stupor for the sun to rise. On to Ness City, made it by lunchtime! Not in time to get to the post office where we mailed ourselves some goodies, but in time to get some lunch at the Frigid Creme Dairy Bar and meet Vyrl, a church fund-raiser and former pastor from Oklahoma who was giving a message the following morning in Dighton, KS. He prayed with us for Johnny's knee and invited us to hear him speak the following morning. That night we stayed in the city park and found out why the whole town had seemed so quiet - there was a softball tournament with everyone in Kansas spectating or competing. It was mayhem. They played softball until MIDNIGHT, which for some tired bikers was an unheard of hour. That's the kind of hour that people sneak into pools if they find a low spot in the fence, if it wasn't open when you arrived and couldn't take a shower. Hypothetically speaking, that's LATE!

Kids threw rocks at Johnny's tent in Ness City. I thought it was funny at the time, but later pretended to be mad when Johnny asked about it.

We made Lisa's chicken corn chowder recipe on our new stove. We're so domesticated.

We also talked about our plans for the rest of the trip. We figured a lot of stuff out - just so you know this isn't all just a big party, we actually do work out some interpersonal things. For the most part it's a big party, you're right.

Day 49 was a gorgeous ride to Dighton and then on to Scott City. Jonathan and DR went on ahead and Johnny and I just rode slow. Johnny's knee has been hurting, so we took the pace down a little bit. We certainly took advantage of the slower pace and drank in the morning sunshine. Something about that morning made it really special, not sure what... Kansas plains spreading out in front of us, sun just rising on our backs, the mist burning off the road and not a car in sight. So flat you can see in every direction until your eyes get tired. That kind of morning.

We rock'd Dighton. We enjoyed Vyrl's message in the morning and got invited to "dinner" (dinner=lunch in Kansas) by Gerry and her daughter Liz. We later met the rest of the crew, Melea and Caroline. This whole event was the 100th Anniversary of Dighton High School and people came from all over to celebrate and catch up... and we were certainly caught up, right in the middle of it. I ate four plates of homecooked everything, we bought T-shirts, signed babies foreheads... it was grand.

We left with tupperware containers and pies and cookies and treats and it was all bordering on ridiculous, but we had the greatest time. Thank you Dighton!

We went to the pool and fell asleep for a long time. In case you haven't noticed, it goes like this - ride, gorge, pool, nap.

We finished the ride to Scott City last night and ate at Pizza Hut and slept across the street at the park. After the hoopla, it was a bit uneventful. Today is day 50 and we're in Leoti, halfway to Tribune and our second-to-last day in Kansas. Colorado is calling us, on 50 miles away... it'll have to wait until tomorrow. We ARE going to cross into Mountain Time Zone in a few miles, so try not to call too early in the morning or we'll still be sleeping.

We're officially halfway done with this crazy thing. Some of us. Johnny and I are planning on riding the West Coast. Did I tell you that yet?

Consider yourself warned.